Day Twenty, Cushing's Awareness Challenge

This is one of the suggestions from the Cushing's Awareness Challenge post:

What have you learned about the medical community since you have become sick?

This one is so easy.  I've said it a thousand times - you know your own body better than any doctor will.  Most doctors have never seen a Cushing's patient, few ever will in the future.

If you believe you have Cushing's (or any other rare disease), learn what you can about it, connect with other patients, make a timeline of symptoms and photographs. Read, take notes, save all your doctors notes, keep your lab findings, get second/third/ten or more opinions.

This is your life, your one and only shot (no pun intended!) at it.  Make it the best and healthiest that you can.

When my friend and fellow e-patient Dave deBronkart learned he had a rare and terminal kidney cancer, he turned to a group of fellow patients online  and found a medical treatment that even his own doctors didn't know. It saved his life.

In this video he calls on all patients to talk with one another, know their own health data, and make health care better one e-Patient at a time.

http://www.youtube.com/v/2vejkD0Rl3o

Day Seventeen, Cushing's Awareness Challenge

Way back when we first got married, my husband thought we might have a lot of kids.  He was from a family of 6 siblings, so that's what he was accustomed to.  I am on only child so I wasn't sure about having so many.

I needn't have worried.

In January, 1974 I had a miscarriage.  I was devastated. My father revealed that my mother had also had a miscarriage.  I had no idea.

At some point after this I tried fertility drugs.  Clomid and another drug.  One or both drugs made me very angry/depressed/bitchy (one dwarves I left off the image)  Little did I know that these meds were a waste of time.

Eventually,  I did get pregnant and my wonderful son, Michael was born.  It wasn't until he was seven that I was finally, actually diagnosed with Cushing's.

When I had my early Cushing's symptoms, I thought I was pregnant again but it was not to be.

I'll never forget the fall when he was in second grade.  He was leaving for school and I said good bye to him.  I knew I was going into NIH that day for at least 6 weeks and my future was very iffy.  He just turned and headed off with his friends...and I felt a little betrayed.

Michael wrote this paper on Cushing's when he was in the 7th grade. From the quality of the pages, he typed this on typing paper - no computers yet!

Click on each page to enlarge.

When Michael started having headache issues in middle school, I had him tested for Cushings.  I had no idea yet if it could be familial but I wasn't taking any chances.  It turned out that my father had also had some unnamed endocrine issues.  Hmmm...

I survived my time and surgery at NIH and Michael grew up to be a wonderful young man, if an only child.  :)

After I survived kidney cancer (see the post from April 12) Michael and I went zip-lining - a goal of mine after surviving that surgery.  This was taken in a treetop restaurant in Belize.

For the mathematically inclined, this is his blog.  Xor's Hammer.  I understand none of it.

Day Sixteen, Cushing's Awareness Challenge

I wrote parts of this a few years ago, so all the "yesterdays" and "last weeks" are a little off...

Wow.  That's about all I can say.  Yesterday was possibly the best day of my life since I started getting Cushing's symptoms, and that was over 25 years ago.  A quarter of a century of feeling exhausted, fatigued.  A quarter of my life spent taking naps and sleeping.

Last week  in this post I wrote in part:

I went to the endo yesterday.  Nothing has changed for me.  Nothing will.  He wants me to take more cortef.  I don't want to gain weight again.  He looked up Provigil and it's not indicated for panhypopituitarism.  So he won't prescribe it.  My kidney surgeon probably won't let me take, anyway, but it was worth a try.

...

He did mention that in "only" 2.5 years maybe I can go back on growth hormone.  I don't want to live like this another year let alone 2.5.  But then, when I was on GH before it didn't help me like it helps most everyone else.

I'm tired of catering to a kidney that may or may not fail sometime anyway, tired of being so exhausted all the time.  I feel like I've lost nearly half my life to this Cushing's stuff already.

So, yesterday I was supposed to go to a conference on web design for churches.  My church sent me because they want me to spiff up their site and make them a new one for Christmas.  I wanted to go because, well, I like learning new stuff about the web.  I figured that I would learn stuff that would also be useful to me in others of my sites.

And I did!

But the amazing thing is this.  My son had told me  about a medication that was very similar to Provigil, that he had tried it while he was writing his doctoral thesis and it had helped him.

So, having tried the official doctor route and being rebuffed - again - I had decided to try this stuff on my own.

Just the night before I had written a response on Robin's wonderful blog that reads in part:

I hate this disease, too.

I was just talking to a friend today about how I'd try nearly anything - even if it ruined my one remaining kidney - to have a few days where I felt good, normal, where I could wake up in the morning rested and be able to have energy for the day.

I want to go out and have fun, to be able to drive for more than 45 minutes without needing to rest, to be have people over for dinner, whatever. I hate being restricted by my lack of energy.

My endo says to cheer up. In two and a half years I can try the growth hormone again. Whoopee. Didn't work the first time and maybe gave me, or contributed to, cancer growth. Why would I want to look forward to trying that again?

I want to feel good now. Today.

I hate that this disease kills but I also hate that it's robbed me of half my life already.

I wish doctors would understand that even though we've "survived", there's no quality of life there.

I hate Cushing's. It robs so much from so many of us. :(

As I said earlier, I have a history of daily naps of at least 3 hours a day.  It cuts into everything and prevents me from doing many things.  I have to schedule my life around these naps and it's awful.

A few years ago I went on a Cushie trip to Rockford.  I've been there a few times and it's always so much fun.  But this first year, we were going to another Cushie's home for barbecue.  I didn't drive, I rested in the back of the car during the drive.  We got there and I managed to stay awake for a little while.  Them I put my head down on the dining room table and fell asleep. Our hostess kindly suggested that I move over to the sofa.

So, I have a long history of daily naps, not getting through the day, yadda, yadda.

So, I was a little nervous about yesterday.  I really wanted to go to this conference, and was afraid I'd have to go nap in my car.

I got up at 5:30 am yesterday.  Before I left at 7:15, I took my Cortef and then I took my non-FDA approved simulated Provigil.  (Although it's not FDA approved, it is not illegal to possess without a prescription and can be imported privately by citizens)

I stayed awake for the whole conference, went to a bell rehearsal, did Stacey's interview, had dinner and went to bed about 10:30PM.  NO NAP!  I did close my eyes a little during the 4:00PM session but it was also b-o-r-i-n-g.

I stayed awake, I enjoyed myself, I learned stuff, I participated in conversations (completely unlike shy me!).

I felt like I think normal people feel.  I was amazed.  Half my life wasted and I finally (thank you Michael!) had a good day.

My kidney doctor and my endo would probably be appalled but it's about time that I had some life again!  Maybe in another 25 years, I'll take another pill.  LOL

---

Well, the energy from the Adrafinil is a one day thing.  I felt great on Thursday.   Friday and Saturday I slept more than usual.  Saturday, today, was one of those days where I sleep nearly all day.  Maybe if I took the drug more it would build up in my system, maybe not.  But it was still worth having that one day where I felt what I imagine normal to be.

While I was being a slug today, my husband painted the entire house.

I'm not sure if I would have been this tired today or if I was somehow making up for the nap I didn't get on Thursday.  Whatever the case, I'm glad that I had the opportunity to try this and to experience the wonderful effects, if only for one day.

Information from a site that sells this:

Alertness Without Stimulation

Adrafinil is the prototype of a new class of smart drug - the eugeroics (ie, "good arousal") designed to promote vigilance and alertness. Developed by the French pharmaceutical company Lafon Laboratories, adrafinil (brand name, Olmifon) has been approved in many European countries for treating narcolepsy, a condition characterized by excessive daytime sleepiness and other unusual symptoms.

Non-narcoleptic users generally find that adrafinil gives them increased energy and reduces fatigue, while improving cognitive function, mental focus, concentration, and memory. It has been reported that quiet people who take adrafinil become more talkative, reserved people become more open, and passive people become more active.

Of course, many stimulant drugs, ranging from caffeine to methamphetamine, are known to produce similar alerting/energizing effects. Adrafinil has been described by some users as a "kinder, gentler" stimulant, because it provides these benefits but usually with much less of the anxiety, agitation, insomnia, associated with conventional stimulants.

Adrafinil's effects are more subtle than those of the stimulants you may be used to, building over a period of days to months. They appear to be based on its ability to selectively stimulate 1-adrenergic receptors in the brain.2 These receptors normally respond to norepinephrine (noradrenaline), a neurotransmitter linked to alertness, learning, and memory. This is in contrast to conventional stimulants, which stimulate a broader spectrum of brain receptors, including those involving dopamine. Its more focused activity profile may account for adrafinil's relative lack of adverse side effects.

There's more info about Adrafinil on Wikipedia

It's interesting that that snipped report that people become more talkative.  I reported that in the original post, too, even though I didn't realize that this was a possibility.

A good quote that I wish I could relate to better:

"Time is limited, so I better wake up every morning fresh and know that I have just one chance to live this particular day right, and to string my days together into a life of action and purpose."

Lance Armstrong (1971 – )
Cyclist, seven-time Tour de France champion and cancer survivor

---

New stuff starts here:

Awhile ago I went to a handbell festival. I took a bit of adrafinil on the main day to try to stay awake for the whole day. It didn't seem to keep me as on as it did before. I can't be used to it already. Maybe I'm just that much more tired than I was before.

Our son lives in New York and every few years he gives us tickets to see a Broadway show.  A couple years ago we took the train to NY to see Wicked.  Usually my DH wants to go out and see sights while we're there.  I usually want to nap.

This time we got up on Saturday morning, went out for breakfast.  I wanted to take in the whole day and enjoy Wicked so I took some Adrafinil.  We got back to the hotel and got ready to go to a museum or other point of interest.

But, DH wanted to rest a bit first.  Then our son closed his eyes for a bit...

So, I found myself the only one awake for the afternoon.  They both work up in time for the show...

Sigh  It was a great show, though.

 

This last Christmas I was going to get my son some Adrafinil as a gift.  The original place we bought it didn't have any more stock so I tracked it down as a surprise.  He was going to give me some, as well, but couldn't get it from the original source, either.  So he found something very similar called Modafinil.  GMTA!

 

Day Twelve, Cushing's Awareness Challenge

Today's Cushing's Awareness Challenge post is about kidney cancer (renal cell carcinoma). You might wonder how in the world this is related to Cushing's. I think it is, either directly or indirectly.

I alluded to this in Day Nine when I said:

I finally started the Growth Hormone December 7, 2004.
Was the hassle and 3 year wait worth it?
Stay tuned for Day 12, April 12, 2012 when all will be revealed.

So, as I said, I started Growth Hormone for my panhypopituitarism on December 7, 2004.  I took it for a while but never really felt any better, no more energy, no weight loss.  Sigh.

April 14 2006 I went back to the endo and found out that the argenine test that was done in 2004 was done incorrectly. The directions were written unclearly and the test run incorrectly, not just for me but for everyone who had this test done there for a couple years. My endo discovered this when he was writing up a research paper and went to the lab to check on something.

So, I went off GH again for 2 weeks, then was retested. The "good news" was that the argenine test is only 90 minutes now instead of 3 hours.

Wow, what a nightmare my argenine retest started! I went back for that Thursday, April 27, 2006. Although the test was shorter, I got back to my hotel and just slept and slept. I was so glad that I hadn't decided to go home after the test.

Friday I felt fine and drove back home, no problem. I picked up my husband for a biopsy and took him to an outpatient surgical center. While I was there waiting for the biopsy to be completed, I started noticing blood in my urine and major abdominal cramps. I left messages for several of my doctors on what I should do. I finally decided to see my PCP after I got my husband home.

When Tom was done with his testing, his doctor took one look at me and asked if I wanted an ambulance. I said no, that I thought I could make it to the emergency room ok - Tom couldn't drive because of the anaesthetic they had given him. I barely made it to the ER and left the car with Tom to park. Tom's doctor followed us to the ER and became my new doctor.

They took me in pretty fast since I was in so much pain, and had the blood in my urine. They thought it was a kidney stone. After a CT scan, my new doctor said that, yes, I had a kidney stone but it wasn't the worst of my problems, that I had kidney cancer. Wow, what a surprise that was! I was admitted to that hospital, had more CT scans, MRIs, bone scans, they looked everywhere.

My open radical nephrectomy was May 9, 2006 in another hospital from the one where the initial diagnosis was made. My surgeon felt that he needed a specialist from that hospital because he believed preop that my tumor had invaded into the vena cava because of its appearance on the various scans. Luckily, that was not the case.

My entire left kidney and the encapsulated cancer (10 pounds worth!) were removed, along with my left adrenal gland and some lymph nodes. Although the cancer (renal cell carcinoma AKA RCC) was very close to hemorrhaging, the surgeon believes he got it all. He said I was so lucky. If the surgery had been delayed any longer, the outcome would have been much different. I will be repeating the CT scans every 3 months, just to be sure that there is no cancer hiding anywhere. As it turns out, I can never say I'm cured, just NED (no evidence of disease). This thing can recur at any time, anywhere in my body.

I credit the argenine re-test with somehow aggravating my kidneys and revealing this cancer. Before the test, I had no clue that there was any problem. The argenine test showed that my IGF is still low but due to the kidney cancer I couldn't take my growth hormone for another 5 years - so the test was useless anyway, except to hasten this newest diagnosis.

So... either Growth Hormone helped my cancer grow or testing for it revealed a cancer I might not have learned about until later.

My five years are up now.  My kidney surgeon *thinks* it would be ok to try the growth hormone again.  I'm still a little leery about this, especially where I didn't notice that much improvement.

What to do?

 

Day Seven, Cushing's Awareness Challenge

Sleep.  Naps.  Fatigue.  I still have them all.  I wrote on my bio in 1987 after my pituitary surgery "I am still and always tired and need a nap most days. I do not, however, still need to take whole days off just to sleep."

That seems to be changing back, at least on the weekends.  Last weekend, both days, I took 7-hour naps each day and I woke up tired. That's awfully close to taking a whole day off to sleep again.

In 2006, I flew to Chicago, IL for a Cushing's weekend in Rockford.  Someone else drove us to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin for the day.  Too much travel, too Cushie, whatever, I was too tired to stay awake.  I actually had put my head down on the dining room table and fallen asleep but our hostess suggested the sofa instead.

This sleeping thing really impacts my life.  Between choir rehearsals, I come home for a 45-minute nap.  Sometimes, during adult choir rehearsals, I start to nod off anyway.

I only TiVo old tv shows that I can watch and fall asleep to since I already know the ending.

Maybe now that I'm more than 5 years out from my kidney cancer I can go back on Growth Hormone again.  My surgeon says he "thinks" it's ok.  I'm sort of afraid to ask my endo about it, though.  I want to feel better and get the benefits of the GH again but I dont want any type of cancer again and I certainly can't afford to lose another kidney.

I'm feeling so old and weary today...